i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
me + whiskey = a bad person
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
