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I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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