The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
