im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
should my penis look like a turkey
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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