i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
