You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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