i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
