PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You smell like stripper and shame
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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