i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
