i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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