She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
