she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
