At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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