Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Operation Purity has been aborted
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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