I hate your face
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
