I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
