playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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