Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
