quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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