During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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