I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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