So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
