I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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