She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
