I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
