your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
