Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
