I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize