whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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