Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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