I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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