This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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