Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my phone needs a breathalizer
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
NoShamevember. You game?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
