What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
God, I missed his penis.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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