Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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