So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
no, he came in my armpit
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
