I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
