Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
