I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize