Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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