How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
