**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
