its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize