don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
