the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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