the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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