Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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