Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize