We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
