dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Come on in and take your pants off
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