Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
