i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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