Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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