ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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