Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
