Betty ford says i'm here all night
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
