Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The Olympian is in my bed
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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