I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
