It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
