ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
can u get pink eye on your cock?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize