Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
FUCK WHALES
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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