its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
