i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
