Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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