Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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